Been thinking about drafting a personal mission statement. Took some time this morning to work on it and began by asking the Lord to help me clarify my purpose in life. Immediately the statement, “I live to love,” came to me.
My heart’s cry for as long as I can remember has been this one thing. I want my Heavenly Father to be pleased with me. When I stand before God in eternity, I want to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
I am such a doer. I love projects and accomplishing goals. God wired me that way. I will never forget saying to my mom one day mid-high school, “I just want to be busy for God.” A couple of years later the evening speaker at Redwood Family Camp preached about being, not just doing. The Lord and I had a long walk and talk under the big trees after service that night. It didn’t change my wiring, but it did challenge me to grow.
Honestly, I don’t think of myself as particularly loving. In fact, the day John Mark proposed I responded that I was not sure I knew how to love. It seemed something was broken inside of me that I was not able to bond rightly. I could move across the country without suffering from missing the people I left. I’ve many times been concerned about that because I’m not sure it’s healthy. I never used to cry at all when I watched movies . . . then I had kids. Overnight movies moved me to tears. I am not mushy. I think people need to suck it up and take responsibility for their lives. Twice in Bible College I took the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis and had scored 3% and 4% in compassion. That said, I do care about people. I care about the people in front of me. I notice the people that get overlooked in a group.
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Matthew 22:37-40 NLT
If God’s highest goal for me is to love him with all of my heart and to love those around me, what does love look like? I heard Heidi Baker preach that. Love looks like something.
What does it look like to love God with all my heart? At this point in my life, it looks like time. It’s time in the morning where I put off planning all the work I want to accomplish. It’s time I read the Word and ponder the little things I never noticed before. It’s time stilling my heart to listen. What are you saying to me, God?
Loving God with all my heart looks like obedience. It’s saying yes when I don’t yet understand. It’s daring to be stretched. It’s taking risk when I’m not a risk taker. It looks like trust. It’s stepping out just because He said so even when the door has not yet opened. It’s coming as I am. It’s daring to make a fool of myself. It’s acting, not just talking.
Loving God with all my heart looks like yearning. It’s passion in worship, moving with the Spirit, pouring myself out before the Lord. It looks like lingering in the Presence. It’s when my top desire in life, the motivation behind my actions and my words is for God’s face to smile upon me.
Every year that goes by I understand more vividly that I cannot love God with all my heart without also loving the people he put around me. God loves those people very much, and he wants me to value them the way that he values them. I am not meant to be isolated in my worship of God. I am meant to be moved with compassion, like Jesus.
I cannot think about this topic of living to love without referencing at least in my own mind the Prophet Bob Jones and his heavenly encounter when God asked him if he had learned to love.
My heart’s cry in this season is this. God, teach me to love. Help me see people. May others feel your love for them because of the way I treat them as valued. May I always treat them kindly and be patient. May I consider their feelings when I choose my words. May I show them respect. May I have the courage to risk rejection. Help me to be always humble. May I bring my hurts to you and not lash out at others. May I be consistent in prayer for the needs of others. Show me ways to put action to my faith by serving. May my love for others be a reflection of my love for you. May my love for my husband and my family be as filled with grace as my love for those at a more comfortable distance.
When my time on earth is done, may it be said of me, “She lived to love.”
To the Ends of the Earth 